Had lunch today with the girls after service. Confessed to them that i was a bit uneasy when susan announced in church that FCC is planning to reach out to the sex workers in Geylang. When i first heard of the idea of the congregation trying to reach out to other people (other than the GLBT community), i was so glad that they took the initiative of doing something like that.
Today, when she announced that the church will be opened to the geylang girls for their english classes, first thing that came to my mind was 'oh no, they will be using the toilet that i am using!'. Then after a few minutes, i came to my senses and i felt ashamed of myself. Here are these people, doing something to make this world a better place, and here i am, thinking of the toilet (which is not even mine).
C is right, for most of us, we dont mind helping people, we wouldnt mind giving them some time and effort,we wouldnt mind volunteering to do things for and with them as long as it doesnt invade our personal space. Two days ago, i was telling J how i felt so sad that Serangoon residents are strongly opposing the idea of having to build a place for the migrant workers in their area. I mean, how can they do that? if all people will not allow their area to be used for the home of the migrant workers, where will they stay?
Now, i realized i am no better than those Serangoon residents. Or maybe, i feel so bad now coz i felt so self righteous over those residents. I have judged them right away and now i am doing the same thing. I am not saying now that they are right or if they are wrong. One thing i do know, i was wrong to judge.
I feel so guilty till now. I feel like i am helping at my comfort. I would like to believe that i am just trying to protect myself while helping others. I think this is where the God component would come in. Am i not trusting enough that He would protect me while trying to do good for His people? How can i be a living testimony if i cant even share a toilet in church when i can use public toilets (i guess what i dont know wont hurt me)? Is my prejudice getting in the way of reaching out to others?
Sigh...so much for reflection on toilets. But seriously, i am gonna do something about it. I may be too far from being a mother Teresa, but maybe, sharing a toilet is a good start. ;-)
I will be joining the Geylang walkabout on the 26th of Sept and will do my best to leave my comfort at home. I will immerse and be there, not to observe and look from afar. I will be there to be with them. In the truest sense of the word.
So join me, lets support the people behind this project and help them in this endeavor. Its not much, but it will definitely make a difference. You dont need to accept that what they do for a living is right...you just have to accept that they also have a right to live in this world.
