Someone said this about being gay:
"They say its just a matter of choice... yes...we have a choice...but its not a choice whether to be gay or not...its the choice whether we want to be true to ourselves or to forever live a life that's full of lie..."
have you made yours?
R
"They say its just a matter of choice... yes...we have a choice...but its not a choice whether to be gay or not...its the choice whether we want to be true to ourselves or to forever live a life that's full of lie..."
have you made yours?
R
******************
Gay Christian walks away from religious therapy
A young Christian tells Yau Chui-yan why he eventually accepted his homosexuality/ SCMP/May 18, 2008
Like many a Christian boy, David Cheung was told that one day he would grow up and marry a girl and live happily ever after. However, David became confused when he felt ashamed of his feelings while staring at other boys as a teenager. Growing up in a religious environment, he understood that some Christians considered homosexuality unacceptable, and he didn't want to worry his parents. During his secondary-school years, Mr Cheung fell in love with his best friend. He dared not disclose his feelings, "because he was a Christian and against homosexuality".
As a university student he did what his peers did and dated girls, but it just didn't feel right. Be a good Christian or follow his feelings? There seemed to be no ideal path, so he sought help.
"When I went to church, I was told that homosexuality was bad, but it could be changed.
"I was told that 70 per cent of gay people could change. At that time, I hoped God could change my sexual orientation, " says Mr Cheung, who is now 23 and studying for a master's degree.
Three years ago, he was referred to the New Creation Association, a group set up to help Christians and non-Christians deal with confusion over sexual orientation. He was told his sexual orientation could be changed through so-called conversion therapy.
Mr Cheung paid the fees and attended several counselling sessions. It was recommended that he attend group counselling on changing sexual orientation. He attended two of the group sessions, which cost him HK$1,200 each.
During the sessions, the talk was about God, self-reflection, self-discovery about gender identity and roles, how to rebuild male and female quality, controlling desires, how to get along with the opposite sex, and how to fall in love with the opposite sex.
"Instead of wanting to know the reason I wanted to change, they just sold the advantage of being heterosexual very hard. My counsellor became frustrated when I told him that I didn't want to change. He made a value judgment."
However, Mr Cheung felt some warmth during the sessions. "We could talk with each other inside the groups. There was support among us. But we were told not to communicate with each other outside the group session."
Mr Cheung tried for a year to follow the directions of the counsellors. He was told that the sessions would only be successful when he was not attracted to members of the same sex.
He says he suppressed his desires by every means possible, and the result was six months of depression. "I became depressed at the end of 2005. I could not concentrate. I felt ashamed even when I saw a guy on TV. I could not talk with others and I became very weak."
Counsellors referred him to psychiatrist Hon Kwai-wah, who is also the chairman of the New Creation Association.
"I had to pay over HK$1,000 per visit and I had to go once every two weeks. I spent over HK$100,000 for the psychiatry sessions. I had to take lots of drugs for depression. However, the side effects of these drugs made me tired," he recalls.
Mr Cheung says he was not told what it would mean for him to change orientation, what the success rate was, or even how long he could expect to need therapy.
Dr Hon could not be reached for comment last week. The Sunday Morning Post (SEHK: 0583, announcements, news) made repeated requests to the group to provide more information about its counselling and allow our reporter to interview people who had gone through the therapy. The Post also made repeated requests for the group to provide more information about its activities.
A representative of the New Creation Association, Chan Ka-leung, said the group was not able to talk in Dr Hon's absence.
In a previous interview with the Sunday Morning Post, Mr Chan said the group served "other voices" among sexual minorities.
The type of therapy Mr Cheung went through is often referred to as "reparative therapy" or "sexual orientation conversion therapy". A psychiatry professor at Columbia University in New York , Robert Spitzer, released the results of a study on homosexuality in 2001, which concluded there was evidence that change in sexual orientation after reparative therapy did occur in some gay men and lesbians.
But the study was controversial. Professional bodies questioned the findings, arguing that the study was not supported scientifically. Dr Spitzer later argued that his findings had been exaggerated by others, as the chance for change was small. Despite controversy over Dr Spitzer's study, groups like the New Creation Association still quote it to support their contention that sexual orientation can be changed.
Established in late 2002, the New Creation Association is one of several in Hong Kong offering so-called sexual conversions. According to its in-house magazine, it has contacts with Exodus International, an interdenominational Christian organisation that promotes "freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ".
Petula Ho Sik-ying, associate professor of social work and social administration at the University of Hong Kong , says conversion therapy is outdated because it assumes homosexuality is something problematic that needs to be "corrected".
Dr Ho points out that the fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders no longer includes homosexuality. "It is not a sickness, so why have the treatment?"
Having practised cognitive therapy with gay people and their families, Dr Ho has decided that the chances of changing sexual orientation are slim.
"The forming of sexual orientation involves personal history and different life events," she says. "It is kind of difficult to change something which was accumulated bit by bit throughout someone's life."
Wong Ting-yim, a professional counsellor who has worked with the Mental Health Association of Hong Kong for 25 years, says it is inevitable that there would be a clash of values for a counsellor. "Of course, there are counselling institutions with religious backgrounds. As perspective matters, it is important to let the client know about other options, as most of the time the client has limited knowledge about what they are facing."
After about two years, Mr Cheung stopped the therapy with the help of a social worker, psychologist and family therapist. Instead of going back for more conversion therapy, he chose to accept his sexual orientation.
Although he suffered anxiety and depression during the therapy, he does not denounce it.
A young Christian tells Yau Chui-yan why he eventually accepted his homosexuality/ SCMP/May 18, 2008
Like many a Christian boy, David Cheung was told that one day he would grow up and marry a girl and live happily ever after. However, David became confused when he felt ashamed of his feelings while staring at other boys as a teenager. Growing up in a religious environment, he understood that some Christians considered homosexuality unacceptable, and he didn't want to worry his parents. During his secondary-school years, Mr Cheung fell in love with his best friend. He dared not disclose his feelings, "because he was a Christian and against homosexuality".
As a university student he did what his peers did and dated girls, but it just didn't feel right. Be a good Christian or follow his feelings? There seemed to be no ideal path, so he sought help.
"When I went to church, I was told that homosexuality was bad, but it could be changed.
"I was told that 70 per cent of gay people could change. At that time, I hoped God could change my sexual orientation, " says Mr Cheung, who is now 23 and studying for a master's degree.
Three years ago, he was referred to the New Creation Association, a group set up to help Christians and non-Christians deal with confusion over sexual orientation. He was told his sexual orientation could be changed through so-called conversion therapy.
Mr Cheung paid the fees and attended several counselling sessions. It was recommended that he attend group counselling on changing sexual orientation. He attended two of the group sessions, which cost him HK$1,200 each.
During the sessions, the talk was about God, self-reflection, self-discovery about gender identity and roles, how to rebuild male and female quality, controlling desires, how to get along with the opposite sex, and how to fall in love with the opposite sex.
"Instead of wanting to know the reason I wanted to change, they just sold the advantage of being heterosexual very hard. My counsellor became frustrated when I told him that I didn't want to change. He made a value judgment."
However, Mr Cheung felt some warmth during the sessions. "We could talk with each other inside the groups. There was support among us. But we were told not to communicate with each other outside the group session."
Mr Cheung tried for a year to follow the directions of the counsellors. He was told that the sessions would only be successful when he was not attracted to members of the same sex.
He says he suppressed his desires by every means possible, and the result was six months of depression. "I became depressed at the end of 2005. I could not concentrate. I felt ashamed even when I saw a guy on TV. I could not talk with others and I became very weak."
Counsellors referred him to psychiatrist Hon Kwai-wah, who is also the chairman of the New Creation Association.
"I had to pay over HK$1,000 per visit and I had to go once every two weeks. I spent over HK$100,000 for the psychiatry sessions. I had to take lots of drugs for depression. However, the side effects of these drugs made me tired," he recalls.
Mr Cheung says he was not told what it would mean for him to change orientation, what the success rate was, or even how long he could expect to need therapy.
Dr Hon could not be reached for comment last week. The Sunday Morning Post (SEHK: 0583, announcements, news) made repeated requests to the group to provide more information about its counselling and allow our reporter to interview people who had gone through the therapy. The Post also made repeated requests for the group to provide more information about its activities.
A representative of the New Creation Association, Chan Ka-leung, said the group was not able to talk in Dr Hon's absence.
In a previous interview with the Sunday Morning Post, Mr Chan said the group served "other voices" among sexual minorities.
The type of therapy Mr Cheung went through is often referred to as "reparative therapy" or "sexual orientation conversion therapy". A psychiatry professor at Columbia University in New York , Robert Spitzer, released the results of a study on homosexuality in 2001, which concluded there was evidence that change in sexual orientation after reparative therapy did occur in some gay men and lesbians.
But the study was controversial. Professional bodies questioned the findings, arguing that the study was not supported scientifically. Dr Spitzer later argued that his findings had been exaggerated by others, as the chance for change was small. Despite controversy over Dr Spitzer's study, groups like the New Creation Association still quote it to support their contention that sexual orientation can be changed.
Established in late 2002, the New Creation Association is one of several in Hong Kong offering so-called sexual conversions. According to its in-house magazine, it has contacts with Exodus International, an interdenominational Christian organisation that promotes "freedom from homosexuality through the power of Jesus Christ".
Petula Ho Sik-ying, associate professor of social work and social administration at the University of Hong Kong , says conversion therapy is outdated because it assumes homosexuality is something problematic that needs to be "corrected".
Dr Ho points out that the fourth edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders no longer includes homosexuality. "It is not a sickness, so why have the treatment?"
Having practised cognitive therapy with gay people and their families, Dr Ho has decided that the chances of changing sexual orientation are slim.
"The forming of sexual orientation involves personal history and different life events," she says. "It is kind of difficult to change something which was accumulated bit by bit throughout someone's life."
Wong Ting-yim, a professional counsellor who has worked with the Mental Health Association of Hong Kong for 25 years, says it is inevitable that there would be a clash of values for a counsellor. "Of course, there are counselling institutions with religious backgrounds. As perspective matters, it is important to let the client know about other options, as most of the time the client has limited knowledge about what they are facing."
After about two years, Mr Cheung stopped the therapy with the help of a social worker, psychologist and family therapist. Instead of going back for more conversion therapy, he chose to accept his sexual orientation.
Although he suffered anxiety and depression during the therapy, he does not denounce it.
"It is a matter of personal choice. After a journey of personal exploration through trial and error, you will know your true self."
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